Falling In Love......

Lots of catching up to do.  Between all the doctor appointments and other kid activities, Lauren and I have been falling in love.  Now some adoptive parents will tell you they are totally in love with their new child the minute they are matched on paper.  I will say the attachment does start there as you carry around a little blurry photo of your new child for months before your actual first meeting and adoption, but love takes time.  I remember when we adopted Lily that for a few weeks I felt like I was just taking care of someone else’s child and not my own.  Now don’t get me wrong, I was thrilled to finally meet Lauren but these past few weeks our relationship has blossomed into a true love affair.  I now have a better understanding of her personality and it sparkles!  When she smiles, you can’t help but smile too.  Meeting Lauren and officially becoming her parents just three hours later, is definitely a leap of faith but discovering the many layers of her personality are a complete joy.

We had our first doctor’s appointment January 16^th with Lauren’s local pediatrician, Dr. Andrews.  She had fluid in both ears so Dr. Andrews put her on amoxicillin for 10 days.  She started the series of shots that will eventually get Lauren caught up on vaccinations.  Generally doctors in the states don’t rely on shot records from China or test the titer, they just start over.  Lauren got three shots that day and did fine, very little crying once the princess stickers floated in front of her face.  Then it was on to the lab for the blood work.  This process did not go as well.  It took two of us holding her down and still they were not able to get enough blood for all the testing as Lauren was able to bend her arm and the needle came out with both sticks.  Lauren was screaming and her little cheeks were flaming red and she felt like she was burning up.  So happy to leave but sad to know we would have to return for another blood draw to complete the testing.  They test for hepatitis, TB, aids and I don’t know what all else, but a bunch of stuff.

We returned two days later and Lauren started screaming from the time we walked in the lab door to when we left but the good news is that the person holding her this time was able to keep her arm still and the job was done quickly.  No more blood draws for awhile please!

I found out that St. John’s Mercy is affiliated with Mercy Children’s hospital in St. Louis so would be in our insurance network.  Dr. Andrews said that the head of the cleft lip/palate team, Doctor Marsh         was considered the guru for pediatric plastic surgery.  I called the clinic and after describing Lauren’s current situation the team coordinator said, “hold on, I need to get you in soon, I’ll see if I can find a room for next Friday.”  I was impressed with her attitude.  Now I had a dilemma, I already had an appointment to meet the team at Mercy Children’s hospital in Kansas City scheduled for February 19^th but here was a team that was willing to fit me in quickly.  After talking to John we decided to go for the appointment in St. Louis.  Lauren and I would travel to St. Louis on Thursday the 24^th and meet with the team at 8am on 1/25.

The weather looked a little dicey on the 24^th, some ice and freezing rain was predicted but the temperatures on the 25^th looked good, up to 46 degrees, so I was not too worried about traveling.  Lauren and I had a great time swimming in the hotel pool, she loves water, and learned quickly to put her arms up, head down and blow bubbles.

We must have met with around 8 different disciplines on the 25^th, I kind of lost track.  I was impressed with Dr. Marsh.  After meeting with everyone and having Lauren’s hearing tested the bottom line is that her ear drums are not moving at all and the hearing loss is mild to moderate in one ear and moderate to severe in the other.  Her ears are filled with fluid.  She needs to get this corrected so that she can start learning English.  Dr. Marsh said that because Lauren is embarking on learning a completely new language, the hands of time are turned back in her speech development.  This is because she will be making new sounds that she has never attempted in the past, so she does not have any bad habits.  He said that if she were to continue in Mandarin, that her speech would always be impaired but by switching languages she has a very good chance of having normal speech.  He said he has seen this happen many times over the years with foreign adoptees.  Great news!  The hearing test indicated the hearing loss is due to the fluid and not permanent damage.  The speech therapist was amazing and wants to see Lauren in 3-6 months to work with her for an hour.  She thinks Lauren will be a quick study and said she wished we lived closer because she would love to be her teacher.  Dr. Marsh said he probably does not need to see her for another 9-12 months, depending on her speech development.  He plans on doing her rhinoplasty surgery in about a year which surprised me as I thought they typically waited until the patient stopped growing.

As soon as we arrived home I started calling to make appointments, one for the local ENT, Dr. Allphin, one to pediatric dentist, Carrie Arquitt and one to the Springfield Public Schools.  I was able to get into Dr. Allphin on 1/30 and after seeing the amount of fluid in her ears he said she really needed tubes put in to drain the fluid so she could begin to work on a new language.  I was in total agreement.  They were able to schedule her outpatient surgery for Feb 1, the sooner the better in my way of thinking.

I have also been working on the preschool arrangements.  We knew we wanted Lauren to attend the MSU Child Development Center, but they did not have an opening at this time.  I had been on the waiting list since November.  In the meantime I was able to tour the child development center at OTC and they have a very similar program to MSU but they do not provide services in the summer.  My thought was to start her at OTC and then transition to MSU in the summer when they assured me there would be an opening.  Yesterday I got a call from the assistant director at MSU and she said a family has just turned in their 2 week notice due to a family crisis.  I hate to back out on OTC as nice as they have been to us but it will be so nice for Lauren to have the consistency of only one preschool.  Things just seem to work out in the end; patience is all that is needed.

Lauren attended Sunday school last week and stayed the entire time and no crying.  It helps if Daddy is the drop off person as Lauren does not have the same attachment with me as with me.  I just stayed around the corner where she could not see me.  The teachers were wonderful with her and she brought home her art work to display.  She was very proud of the name tag they made for her.

More photos soon.......

Home at Last

Just as I thought, coming home I had to hit the ground running, so there has been no time to post.  Now at 9:35pm on Friday night, everyone is asleep but me so I will post a quick update of the past few days.

We left the hotel in Guangzhou at 5:30am to head to the airport in Hong Kong, about a 3 hour drive.  The hotel packed us up breakfast in a box so we dined on hard boiled eggs, yogurt and fruit on the drive.  There were not many cars on the road at that time but many trucks and our driver was very skilled at maneuvering around them all.  He let us out right at the front door to the airport and we were off.  We flew first to Tokyo, a 4 hour flight and had a 3 hour layover.  It was good that the kids had a break to wear off some extra energy.  We then caught the long flight to Chicago, about 11 hours total.  Both Lauren Jing Yi and Luke did very well on the flight.  We had a bit of a rough start though as we were still gaining altitude Lauren made the gestures she uses to tell me she needed to go potty.  We had just taken care of that business at the airport before leaving so I hoped I was misinterpreting her.  Since she did not get the response she wanted, she started making more desperate pleas which soon turned into wailing.  I asked a passing flight attendant if we could use the restroom and she said that we could do what we wanted but she was to advise us that this was not a good time to be walking around.  As the wailing continued, I decided we would risk it.  Sure enough, she had to go.  After that it was smooth sailing.

In Chicago you are required to go through immigration and it requires 4 steps that all require waiting in line.  In addition we had to deliver sealed adoption documents that have to be filed for Lauren.  The kids were at the end of their short rope so I was carrying 3 backpacks and various jackets and just hoping the process would end soon.  About this time, lack of sleep caused Luke to start bouncing off the walls.  At one point he was standing in the middle of the terminal singing his heart out and I just had to tell myself that above all else, I must remain calm.  He was excited to get home to presents he had not yet seen.  On the short flight back to Springfield he sat one row behind us, which at that point was good for the rest of us.  Shortly after take off he was sound asleep.

John and Lily met us at the airport and we headed home.  I calculated that Lauren Jing Yi's birthday lasted 38 hours due to the different time zones we woke up in and traveled back through.  Most people would think that was pretty cool, this tired Mama just thought it was the day that would never end!  We opened gifts and gave Lauren a tour of the house and then we all went to bed.  Lauren decided she did not want to take off her clothes or shoes (I insisted on the shoes) before bed, so she slept in her clothes.  One would think after our lack of sleep that we would drift off into a peaceful slumber, but that only lasted 4 hours and Lauren and I were both wide awake; China time.  I scrambled her some eggs and she also ate 2 whole bananas.  We took a long bubble bath, she loved our large deep tub and it was a great way to get her to take her clothes off.  She was still having major issues with our pets, 2 dogs and 3 cats and was screaming every time they were in the same room as her.  I decided that the dogs needed a bath and maybe putting them in the tub, a place Lauren loved to be, would make them seem more human-like and less scary.  It worked like magic.  As soon as Daisy was all wet and soapy, Lauren could not resist coming over to the tub to reach her hand in and help scrub.  The ice was broken and soon she was giving them kisses.  Their relationship has been fine ever since.  I guess the cats won her over by association as well.

On Wednesday Lauren and I took Luke and Lily to school.  I wanted Lauren to have some understanding of where Luke and Lily went each day.  As we were getting ready to leave, Lauren, seeing her brother and sister grab their backpacks, went over and grabbed hers as well.  Lauren got to visit both classrooms and all the students gathered around to see her.  Lauren was curious and a bit shy by all the attention.  It was a lot to take in on her first day.  We had to run a few errands around town and Lauren was entranced by all that she could see out her window.  She was pointing and talking the whole time and I can only imagine what she was saying.  Her whole world had changed and she was riding in a car with this woman she had only met 2 weeks earlier and who was now her Mama.

I was lucky that John was still out on Christmas break so he was around until Friday when a faculty meeting and student appointments kicked in.  Lauren and I went grocery shopping on Friday morning and I had a bit of a scare.  My 2005 Kia has been known to lock all the doors for no apparent reason.  This has happened to me several times when I have loaded things in the back, closed the hatch and hear the familiar "click" that the doors have locked.  In the back of my mind, I knew this could become a real issue for me one day, especially if I happened to set my keys down inside the car while I am loading things in the back.  You can see where I am going with this story by now.  While I unloaded Lauren from the cart into the hatch, I set my keys down and then unloaded my groceries and then shut the hatch....."click" went the locks.  I patted both pockets, then dug frantically through my purse.  Lauren is sitting the back of the now locked car watching me.  To make matters worse, my cell phone was on the charger inside the car.  Luckily it was not a hot day so I thought I would try getting her to unlock the doors before I ran in a panic to the nearest store for help, leaving Lauren by herself.  So at first I think Lauren thought Mama was playing some sort of game and it was her job to play keep away.  Remember that Lauren is not your typically kid living in America who has sat in the driver seat of a car and played with all the bells and whistles, add the fact that she knows very little English and you can see my odds of winning.  The only way she would be able to let me in was to hit the unlock button on the driver's door.  After about 10 minutes she did come to the door and held up a key in her hand, a small key she found on the console but still a key.  It gave me hope that she understood my dilemma to some degree.  I made the motion of pushing buttons and she looked down and saw all the buttons and starting randomly pushing.  I shook my head no, one by one as she pushed the window buttons and mirror buttons but then she got to the key button.  I encouraged her to push harder with lots of hand waving and suddenly heard that wonderful "click" indicating that she had pushed hard enough and I grabbed the handle and opened the door.  I grabbed her and kissed her and hugged her and she was so happy and caught up in the excitement of the "game."  The ice cream was a little soft by the time we got home.  We are taping an extra key somewhere on the car in case this happens again.  That was enough excitement for one day.

Marching in Place

Not sure what day it is…..

John and Lily were off and running yesterday morning at 6am.  A van drove them to Hong Kong to catch a plane to Chicago.  We had to wait over 24 hours to hear that they had made it home safe.  I can’t tell you how many times during the day I would calculate the time 14 hours behind to decide how far along they were in the journey.  Thank goodness for skype!  How good it was to see John’s face, even as tired as it looked, viewing me through my iPhone.  It was only 3am their time, but John was wide awake due to the time change.  A bit later he had Lily skype me and it was good to see her sweet face and hear that she already misses me.  In a few hours John will be driving her up to KC to join her dance troupe at the JUMP convention.  She is not competing but will pack in two full days of lessons.  John will be able to spend the night in KC and come back Sunday morning and Lily will ride the bus with the troupe.

We have kept ourselves entertained while spending the last few days in Guangzhou.  We have walked around the island many times and played at the park once or twice each day.  It was Saturday today but apparently the kids go to school on Saturdays because we saw them all outside in their sweat suit uniforms doing group exercises and later playing soccer at recess.  I like the idea of the group exercises-maybe something our schools need to try, a break in the day to get out and get moving.  We also watched the armed soldiers during their marching drills.

The park is a popular hangout for the older crowd.  It is fun to watch them dance in large groups and then there are the singers complete with karaoke sound systems.  There are adult sized exercise equipment and the elderly are constantly using them to stretch and flex-something we don’t see in the states either.  I think every city I have ever traveled to in China have this same exercise equipment.  The stuff is made out of heavy metal and runs on muscle power only.  The kids like to get on but it is specifically designed for adults.

Jing Yi seems to take all of our adventures in stride.  She is currently in an ice cream coma, I think she has been working on this cone for a good 20 minutes and she still has more to go but there is no stopping her.  She is a very lovable little girl and I am guessing this is the first time she has had so much one on one attention from one adult, but it seems to be growing on her.  She was not too happy with being carried at first, but now she will reach those arms high in the sky and give me her best puppy dog eyes, wanting to be held and carried.  She loves to color and at first would not let me color with her; during this past week she has really lightened up on the attitude of “I am doing this by myself,” and is letting me creep into her space.  We did a great job of coloring a page of the hello kitty color book today.  She also likes to draw and we worked together drawing the picture of the monkey on her shirt.  She pays attention to detail and added the eye brows on the monkey that I had overlooked.

We had a bit of a power struggle over getting ready for bed last night.  We had made it past the grieving time without any tears and I knew that if I pushed the point of getting pjs on, there would be some tears, but it was time to get ready for bed.  There were a few tears shed, but once the pjs were on, the tears stopped and she was fine.  Tonight we have made it through the 6pm hour without tears once again-progress.  She has struggled to make some words in English.  Luke has a habit to drawing out his no so that it sounds like noah and last night she clearly said, “noah.”  Instead of speaking English to Jing Yi, Luke likes to babbled back to her in her version of Chinese, they carry on some lively discussions.  I am sure Jing Yi will have some challenges ahead of her from what I have seen of her mouth.  I would not be surprised at all to hear that surgery will be needed in the near future.

Sorry, no photos, I am too lazy to download them.  John did all that for me. Maybe tomorrow.

The American consulate

First taste of Starbucks hot chocolate

Shop keeper selling puppies

Posing in front of Walmart

Kids on play ground take an interest in John

The island is a popular place for wedding photos

Tuesday-Wednesday

Ok, the days are really starting to blend together.  We had to purchase another VPN to get access to our blog-I think China is just one step behind trying to put up firewalls and the VPN companies have to come up with new ways to get through.  For today it seems to be working.

Yesterday we took a taxi back to the park we visited with Judy on Sunday.  The kids really wanted to take in some of the amusement rides and we didn’t have time before.  The park is a short 10 minute taxi ride and cost 12 yuan (about $2.00).  The kids got to ride some rides but Jing Yi did not like the bumper cars at all and had to bail out early.  We met Judy at 1 and walked to a Chinese restaurant where her husband and son were waiting.  Since it was New Years, Judy wanted to treat our family to dim sum.  The restaurant was packed with families all sitting around large round tables.  They ordered many different kinds of dim sum; items like spring rolls and dumplings that I know the name of, many that I do not.  There were little sticky buns filled with bbq pork, large flat noodles stuffed with chicken, sweet potato buns, and a layered green gelatin dessert that Jing Yi loved very much.  Judy’s son Mike is 10 years old and he compared the games he plays on his electronic devices with Luke and Lily.  We all left the meal very full and happy to walk back to relax at the hotel.

This morning we met Judy quite early to travel to the American consulate.  This is where we turn in the paperwork prepared by Judy to apply for Jing Yi’s visa to add to her passport so that she may leave China.  There were about 11 other adoptive families there as well, most with babies and multiple kids from China.  We then ventured to Wal-Mart to pick up some supplies.  The entrance of the store was filled with decorations for the upcoming Chinese New Year and I was able to pick up good luck envelopes 10/1 yuan (.17 each package)  Daddy got a new traditional Chinese shirt and Lily got a very pretty red Chinese vest.  We shopped around but really, most items are not the bargains they once were.  Many things were priced very similar to the states; I think the clothes are actually a bit higher priced.

Now we are back at the hotel getting ready to try subway for lunch.  I love Chinese food, but still need a break once in a while.  Tomorrow we should get Jing Yi’s visa at 4:30pm and the next morning at 5am, John and Lily will be taking a van to the airport in Hong Kong to catch their flight back to the states.  The rest of us are here until the 8^th, next Tuesday.  I am ready to head home and get settled into our routine.  All five of us in this small hotel room becomes a bit close after traveling 2 weeks.  We will be bringing home the best gift of all, our new daughter.

Jing Yi seems to blend right in-she is happy most of the time but still has her moments of grief at 6pm each night like clockwork-I wonder why it happens at that particular time?  She already tries to do everything the big kids do and is great at imitating. I can do pretty well communicating with hand gestures-she seems to understand pretty quickly.  I wonder if she thinks this is how her new life will be, hanging out in hotels and eating out every meal……

Chicken pox resolved at last

The three joeys

Play ground

At the zoo

Play ground on the island

Monkeys!

Happy girl!

Luke

Panda eating bamboo

Sunday-Monday

We had the day off today and spent it exploring the island. The weather has turned much colder and it does not look like it will improve in the next few days.  This is a tourist area so many people were strolling about enjoying the scenery.  There were groups line dancing and people playing various instruments and singing.  John and I were asked on two occasions if people could have their photo taken with us, I’m sure it is because we are so good looking, and not because we are the only white people around.  We bought a few more trinkets and the kids played in the hotel playroom. 

This morning we met Judy at 9am for our return visit to the medical clinic.  Jing Yi did not get any more red spots and had not been itching so I was pretty sure we would pass the test.  Her TB skin test was fine and three doctors came in to examine the 6 spots.  They determined that she did have a mild case of the chicken pox but that they were now dried and crusty and she was not contagious.  Yeah…we passed.  They asked when I first noticed the spots and I had to be honest, they were so small and she was not itching, that I had not really noticed them at all.

We then traveled to the local zoo.  The zoo sits right in the middle of the city with skyscrapers all around.  While the zoo is not large, it did have some nice exhibits of elephants, giraffes, tigers and monkeys.  We enjoyed walking around and talking to Judy a bit more.

After returning to the hotel we decided to return to the hotel restaurant to get more dim sum.  Unfortunately, they stop serving dim sum at 1pm so we were just a bit late and had to order off the regular menu.  There are lovely photos of each dish to look at and a brief description in English so we felt pretty sure we would enjoy the beef and noodles, braised chicken and fried rice.  The chicken was a disappointment.  Not sure how they do it, but when you order chicken in China: 1. it is cut in finger sized pieces with bone 2.  You can never identify what part of the chicken it came from 3.  There is no meat on the bones, just crispy breading.  John and I refer to it as gnarly chicken and we should know better than to order chicken in China by now, the photo just made it look so good!  I don’t think they fatten up their chickens like we do in the states. Jing Yi was again the last one to finish eating-all this food must be overwhelming to her and she eats like there is no tomorrow.

Tonight is New Year’s Eve and I wonder if we will hear any fireworks going off.  Since we are generally all in bed asleep by 9pm, I doubt we would notice.  Tomorrow is another free day and Judy has invited us to lunch with her family.